A Full House of Negatives

Whatever happens as this game plays out, things look truly grim for Australia. Grim in a way they haven't against England for a quarter of a century.

One of my favourite memories from the summer before I went to university is the day Gooch and Gower flogged a pallid Australian attack all over Kennington. Today, with the hapless Xavier Doherty playing the part of Murray Bennett, and Shane Watson as Simon O'Donnell, Cook, Trott and Pietersen did much the same.

For the majority of the twenty-five years which have elapsed since that day, the Australian cricket team has had it all. It still has, only now it is a full house of negatives: a threadbare, poorly selected attack; batsmen who are ageing, or lack form, or both; fielders who cannot take catches which should be routine at Test level.

It's still possible, given the benign pitch and the possibility of rain later in the game, for Australia to escape defeat in Adelaide, but the psychological damage being done here is huge.

Australia's glory years were really over as soon as all the greats had retired, but full confirmation of what this has meant on the pitch has taken a while longer to come.

Now, though, it is over. And there is nothing that anyone - least of all Ponting - can do about it.

Third Umpire, Second Thoughts

Things have been a tad busy this week - with much of it spent travelling to and from work in the worst winter weather seen in this neck of the woods since David Gower was still flying Tiger Moths - so the first two days of the Sabina Park Test have largely passed me by. As for the IPL auction, well, it's hardly big news round my way and I was asleep when it took place, so I can't say much about that either. Lastly, when I did try to sit down and watch some of the post-tea action from Kingston last night the picture kept breaking up because there was a snowstorm going on outside.

So, what to say? Many a player (and follower) brought up in harsher times would have cracked a wry smile at the sight of Gayle and the impressive Benn bowling so well in tandem on the first day. A sign of changing times if ever there was one, as, of course, is the first use of referrals in a Test match involving England, something which seems to be causing plenty of comment. While there are clearly imperfections in the embryonic system - the lack of a time limit on the wait for a decision being the most obvious - I think it's a step in the right direction which is surely justifiable on the grounds that having more demonstrably correct decisions rather than fewer has to be good for the game, however those decisons are arrived at.

Of course, people with biased viewpoints (that is, of course, all players and most spectators) will still find plenty to complain about, whatever the outcome. I thought, as did Mike Atherton, that there was sufficient height-related doubt about Sarwan's lbw for it to be reasonably disallowed, but it came as no surprise to find that plenty of people, including the England wicket-keeper, didn't agree with that.

In the end, though, only one person's opinion counts, although, when that person is the dreaded Daryl Harper, you can't help but have second thoughts...

Striking Fear

For me, the highlight of the D'Oliveira Trophy series was Graeme Smith's epic at Edgbaston, while I also really enjoyed the contributions of Prince, de Villiers and Amla. South Africa were worthy winners and will surely provide us with some rich entertainment when they take on Australia over six home and away Tests later in the year.

For England, despite a well-constructed win at The Oval, the prognosis is more dubious. Strauss's place once again appears vulnerable, while Ambrose's has surely been lost. Monty - stereotyped, apparently going backwards (from the lowest of low bases) with the bat and in the field and vitally lacking competition - is becoming a concern. As, of course, is Ian Bell. The evidence of the last three matches was that I and a few other observers (not to mention Bell himself) were wrong in thinking that his Lord's 199 meant that he'd finally cracked Test cricket. Much of Bell's batting after Lord's hinted at a man who'd sunk straight back into the complacency which often seems to hover just below the surface of a unit which - notwithstanding Collingwood's ultimate renaissance - still seems a bit too cosy.

Two final parting thoughts:

1. It's clear (as if it wasn't before to most people apart from Duncan Fletcher) that Steve Harmison just needs to bowl and bowl and bowl. It's anyone's guess what'll happen abroad during the winter but, for next summer, just let him bowl as much for Durham as he needs to (if there's any space between the Tests). You know it makes sense (and so, hopefully, does he).

2. For the first time in my cricket-watching life (thirty-plus years and counting) England have a specialist batsman capable of striking fear into any side in the world at any time. David Gower was a genius, albeit of a more fragile cast than KP, but he never quite seemed to have Pietersen's extra determination, self-certainty, improvisational flair and sheer balls.

Christ he's good.

Reprising Disaster

Just about the only good thing (apart from some reasonable bowling and fielding) about England's heavy defeat to New Zealand in Adelaide yesterday was the fact that Ed Joyce at last made some runs. Although, to me, he still didn't look himself. Having seen Joyce make a few runs for Middlesex, I've got the impression that although in many ways he's reminiscent of Graham Thorpe, he is, in reality, a much more fragile talent. More Gower than Thorpe, in fact, but without Gower's towering ability. I'd like to see him make a success of his nascent international career, but I've got my doubts about whether he'll do so, or even get much of a chance to, which would be a pity.

But then everything about England is currently pitiful, and this magnificently splenetic Andrew Miller piece from Cricinfo sums things up beautifully.

One word of warning, though, Andrew. I know it must currently seem hideous to be doing what you're doing (and I'm not even sure I'd like to be in your shoes just now) but never forget that, when it comes down to it, you're being paid to watch cricket.

Most of us would take that. Even if England are playing.

No Frills

Well, even allowing for their ridiculous team selection (and I'm sure you can guess what I'm referring to), it wasn't a bad day for England. In fact, in the context of the way things have generally been going so far, it was a good one. Especially for one player.

The first time I really paid any attention to Paul Collingwood was during my first - and so far only - visit to the Riverside, in September 2001. Durham were playing Worcestershire and I caught the back end of a Collingwood century. He'd made his ODI debut for England earlier that summer but hadn't achieved much and I wasn't really sure what to make of him. What was clear, however, was how much affection he was held in by the Durham faithful, whose shouts of 'well played Colly' echoed around the broad acres of the new ground.

Of course, I now know a whole lot more about him, as do an increasing number of the world's bowling attacks. And I must hold my hands up and say that as recently as last summer I still had doubts that he was a player of Test quality (with the bat - his peerless fielding is another thing entirely), but those have all gone now. Similarly, before Brisbane I would have joined the ranks of the critics who felt that Pietersen, and not Collingwood, ought to be England's number four.

But then again, what do I know? Steve Waugh always liked the look of him and he, as much as anybody, knows that you don't get any marks for style in Test cricket. With characteristic level-headedness Colly's moved on instantly from his self-destructive dismissal on 96 at the Gabba and made an assured 98* on the first day in Adelaide, which will hopefully be converted into his first Ashes century tomorrow morning. Then he has to go on.

As for the others, neither Strauss nor Cook has properly found his feet yet. This time Strauss looked to be undone by the pitch and Cook by an intense spell of seam bowling from Stuart Clark. Bell was typically sound and was just starting to move up a gear when he skied a return catch to Brett Lee. Pietersen was Pietersen. Hyper-confident, more than a little unorthodox but touched with genius to a greater extent than any England batsman since…well, who? David Gower?

And if we're making historical comparisons, who was the last England player with a similar combination of no-frills technique and ironclad temperament to Collingwood? My money's on David Steele.